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Poetry I Composed

Discussion in 'Arts & Banner Showcase' started by Uchica Itachi, May 1, 2021.

  1. hi :)

    This was the very first poem I made, approximately four months ago (perchance).
    I made two-three more after this one, however; I believe I put the most effort into the first one, ironically. I do intend to make more, much better though :)
    If any of you guys have suggestions/tips or want to talk to me about it, feel free to comment.


    The Civil Foe

    The Bloodiest Day in American History begun,

    and a young man was just stunned by a gun.

    He stumbled upon a tree and felt life evaporate,

    and he knew his fate was death straight.


    He saw a foe run towards him,

    and now for certain his fate was grim.

    He closed his eyes and anticipated death,

    yet the foe discarded the gun, so he was able to take another breath.


    To his surprise, the foe tended the wound,

    and he was no longer blood drowned.

    The foe then bid him adieu,

    and he was the foe’s last view.


    For the foe was brutally killed after wound tending,

    He slowly fell into life’s ending.

    The tended man then tried to save his hero,

    yet the life of the hero was absolute zero.
     
    Posted May 1, 2021
    Da_One, Anna. and scarlet like this.
  2. "He closed his eyes and anticipated death,
    yet the foe discarded the gun, so he was able to take another breath."

    aw i love that
     
    Posted May 1, 2021
    Uchica Itachi and Anna. like this.
  3. Nice poem man :)
     
    Posted May 1, 2021
    Uchica Itachi likes this.
  4. rhythm is a little off, but its still great! =D
     
    Posted May 1, 2021
    Uchica Itachi likes this.
  5. Thanks :3

    Thank you, good sir! :)

    Yeah, I know. But thanks for the compliment :) I'm going to try and make my next poem rhyme much more, but the idea behind is what I am aiming for.
     
    OP OP
    OP OP Posted May 1, 2021
    Da_One likes this.
  6. I really like this! I love how it tells a clear story, whereas a lot of poetry you really have to think about (at least the minimal poetry that I've read in the past haha)

    It's very pretty, you definitly have a way with words. I hope to see more from you in the future!
     
    Posted May 1, 2021
    Uchica Itachi likes this.
  7. Ah, thank you so much :)
     
    OP OP
    OP OP Posted May 1, 2021

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